When I really delved back into writing like I meant it, I happened to come across some music I liked–way back when. It’s a way back when that feels like yesterday, anyway, so I assume that means I either haven’t matured or I’ve been in some kind of time bubble wondering why the world has changed and why people around me have gotten older and started having kids. Then there are these two adorable but feisty little goblins who keep flinging themselves on me and calling me Mama. They’re kinda cute, so I accept it. I feed them, and play silly games with them and cuddle them and stuff. And then there’s this amazing guy they call Dad. I think I’ll keep him too. He’s kinda nice to have around–indispensable, in fact.
So, here I am in my time bubble. The ’80s going retro has been terribly confusing. But at least the music I loved in college is still as un-retro as ever. Garmarna’s remix of Hildegard Von Bingen’s ethereal chants, miscellaneous classical pieces I love because they are still and uplifting at the same time, and let’s face it, when I was a snob I listened to classical music simply because it was classical. Nostalgia is a big factor, lifting me out of present-day frustrations and stresses to reminisce about I time I no longer remember as difficult or stressful, though it was more so.
The music is timeless, anyway, and soothing. A few tracks stand out, if I can remember composer’s names (another trait that went by the wayside with snobbery). Delibes’ Song to the Moon, Alhambra by somebody else, Lascia Chi’o Piangia by someone I certainly should remember, but don’t. I wouldn’t remember Delibes if my students hadn’t done a simplified dance from Coppelia last year. If I mutilate spelling, please comment and correct me. None deserve it better than I, believe me.
Well, point being, the music helps me write. I wrote better in college–I think. I’ve been impressed by what I’ve found laying around. Sometimes things I can’t believe I wrote. Some I’m pissed because I can’t remember how it was supposed to end and it was never finished.
I think I’ve finally, after far too many years, gotten to the point I am done messing around. I’m writing almost every day now, or rather every night. Short on sleep, but at least I feel like I’m accomplishing something for this family that seems to be mine…I’m entering my fourth month of Invalidship, and I don’t like it. So while I bust my britches to get walking again, I might as well be productive while applying ice packs.
One of these days, a blog will accept my writing. One of these days, I will finish one of many stories and find some way to publish it–and I think blogging will at least open up that thought realm for me. I have to watch my idealism, I may find myself trying to puff thought bubbles into the ethers, hoping a book will materialize.